I know that you were oh-so disappointed that we went down, but we’re back, folks. Be sure to keep tuning in every morning for some good ol’ updates from yours truly.
In Case You’ve Blown Through Your 2012 Resolutions
January 7, 2012 By
Yep, I have more green resolutions for 2012 for you. Think of it as me giving you encouragement after the other resolutions of yours didn’t pan out.
1) Replace at least one grocery item with a local or organic one.
2) Install a programmable thermostat to regulate how much heat/AC you pump into your rooms. Fun fact: reducing your heat – or turning up your AC temperature – by just two degrees will not only save you money in as little as a month, but for CO2 reduction of emissions, you’ll be doing the equivalent of taking dozens of cars off of the road.
3) Go vegetarian for just one meal a week — doing so will save 35 pounds of meat a year, which translates to 84,000 gallons of water, 245 pounds of grain, and 15.5 gallons of gasoline saved. Giving up your grizzly chicken wings will be beyond worth it.
4) Replace single-use batteries (especially those in your camera) with rechargable ones. You’ll save other batteries from being tossed in landfills, causing toxic pollution.
5) Make the switch to CFLs or LEDs (from incandescents). Seriously — do it already. You save too much money and energy in the long run to not.
6) Clean out your garage of toxic waste like paint cans and motor oil containers. No chick will dig a toxic man cave, which is likely where your lair has been forced to reside.
7) Download Earth911′s free iRecycle app for iPhone or Android — it tells you about collection points for specific materials (like toxic waste, aka batteries, and for electronic equipment), among other perks.
Start at least one DIY reuse project. turn an old pair of jeans into a cute tote, make a quilt out of your old high school shirts. You’re on your own when it comes to making a DIY out of your empty beer bottles or old Madden video games.
9) Start composting. Get a compost bin, and turn your garden into earth’s natural form of recycling (which means gratis fertilizer for you green-thumbs).
10) Hypermile — aka, use better driving practices to maximize your car’s MPG — or use public transportation. Or, you could be daring and actually walk/bike places. Talk about a shocker. In case you don’t know how to, or in case your car doesn’t have a feature to tell you how to hypermile yourself, learn how to hypermile here.
2012 doesn’t judge, but it does love it when you make more than one resolution, so have at it. Make me proud, guys.
Cars and Food Don’t Mix
January 2, 2012 By
I don’t get it. Everyone always complains about fuel economy and wanting leaner, meaner cars that do more justice in the MPG department. Yet no matter how much more fuel efficient newer cars are, we keep gaining more and more weight — and, as a result, are counteracting the improvements. What bugs me most is that people are busting their buns to be able to get you better cars, yet you do nothing to try to stay the same size? Ever think that you’re the reason why your car needs refueling more and more often? Obviously, not everyone is gaining weight and falling into this category, but when the average American man has a 39-inch waist and weighs 195 pounds, and when the average American woman packs a 37-inch waist and weighs 165 pounds, something needs to be done.
Here’s a thought. Why don’t you, I don’t know, actually walk places sometimes? Or stop agreeing to order combo meals at drive-throughs? Because I’m getting sick at the thought of all of this. The environment suffers when technology is so advanced that we could be getting 50MPG in non-Prius cars, yet the reality remains that people are getting bigger with newer and newer cars. Think about that as you bite into your next Double Down.
NASCAR: Running On E
October 3, 2011 By
And that’s “E” for environmentally friendly. Get your minds out of the gutter.
NASCAR has launched a new initiative to start using biofuels in racing, which will (I hope) prompt them to then extend this automotive technology to other sports cars sold in the commercial sector. In doing so, they’ll be able to still keep their manhood, well, under their hood with clean, efficient gas while keeping their mph (and speeding ticket costs) high. If men claim that women are “stripping them of their macho” by infusing earth-friendly (and, surprise surprise, smart) biofuel into their masculine race cars, then maybe they should be doing more important things with their time than arguing with an innovative idea to solving fuel-efficiency issues in an otherwise gas-guzzling arena. Or, they could be spending their time instead watching women strip men of other things, too. Up to them.
Fly the (Truly) Friendly Skies
September 21, 2011 By
Whether this phrase was created because of excellent customer service, highest rate of on-time arrivals, or the wonderful reputation that many stewardesses (and passengers) upheld as a part of the Mile High Club, many airlines are getting a whole lot friendlier — and this time, I mean earth-friendlier.
Many European airlines announced over the summer that they planned to start using biofuel in more than 200 flights (each airline) to reduce the 2% of all human carbon emissions created by airline exhaust. This number doesn’t sound large, but being able to cut that down or out completely would certainly do some good. Now, however, US Airways, United (and Continental), Delta, and American Airlines are now following suit here in the United States.
Biofuel comes from living things — mostly plants and algae — but can also be derived from recycled cooking oil. A number of cars on the road have already made the transition to biofuel, but many more will hopefully follow suit soon. Algae and its subsidiaries can be easily grown on marginalized, farmed-out land, meaning large numbers of this plant can be created without kicking another farm or vast amount of land out.
However, one concern is that these plants pre-picking and pre-creation of biofuels would otherwise be soaking up carbon from the atmosphere. If the same impact is to be had, then more plants must be grown in their absence. The additional algae grown could help this, but more plants (and algae) would have to be planted for every section of algae stripped. This creates a cycle that seems never-ending, but many airlines, like Lufthansa, assure that their production of algae does not interfere with food production and does not result in rainforest destruction.
So, next time you’re choosing flights, stick with one of these brands. As for whether or not you choose to join the Mile High Club… well, let’s just say that you’ll feel less guilty overall after choosing this eco-friendly flight.
Trucks: Git-R-Green
August 23, 2011 By
Ford and Toyota have recently teamed up to make the first fuel-efficient, environmentally-friendly truck in the coming years. I’m talking “manly”, testosterone-oozing pick-ups and soccer-mom SUVs, not Ford Escapes with a hybrid sticker on the back. They realize that to the US, bigger is always viewed as better, so trucks and SUVs are indispensable to our society. However, they’re thankfully taking away the heart attacks I’ve always gotten when I see these big lugs exhaling gas as they pass me by on the road. (Whether or not these drivers try to do anything else is a different story.)
They’ve agreed to split all production costs while still making each of their driving systems unique in the vehicles (so yes, the F150 will still be called just that; no need to panic about amending your living room sign about F150-haters being more than unwelcome). The result? Lower costs of these vehicles for us — and these cars will get to the market faster. If, however, you’re still looking to keep your “macho” attitude and don’t want to risk any of your boys knowing that it’s green-friendly, put some big bumper sticker over the small icon on back indicating its fuel-efficient nature. If you still get hell after that, remind them that at least you’ll be the one to have more cash for strip clubs (or shopping trips) when they fall short. They’ll struggle with a comeback after that.
Yet We’re Still Standing…
July 17, 2011 By
Many of heard of it, while many others experienced it for themselves: Carmageddon, as it’s so lovingly been called, ended early today, and I, for one, am pissed. Why, you may ask? Because things like this should happen more often — and not just in Southern California.
Now, before you say “how can this be?” in a tone of outrage, as you’re probably reading this from your BlackBerry on the newly-reopened freeway, let me tell you why.
I’ve been one that has always wanted to peel more and more cars off of the road. Seeing as I have little strength to pull even a foreign Vespa from its parking spot outside of my chateau when it makes itself present, I try to recruit more bulky personnel to do so (or at least imagine that I pull people off of the road with my words of wisdom posted here). Thus, when 36-hour shutdowns on a major freeway in Los Angeles make many say that those affected will be trapped at home, I have nothing to do but wag my finger at you. Guys, it was 36 hours — only a day and a half! That’s probably shorter than the time it took you to get over your Friday-night-induced hangover. Better yet, those who actually realized that something as stupid as a couple-of-mile stretch of the freeway being closed meant that many chose to ride the bus and subways — or even bike — to a wide variety of places to get in their weekend entertainment. Think of the money they saved on gas, parking, and having to wash flyers, dirt, and anything from used gum to spilled drinks that passers-by may have left as calling cards. You live in busy cities; take advantage of the fact that everything’s close by and free yourself from your cars. Trust me, they won’t miss you.
Now, for those of you in suburban areas or less-busy urban communities, you may think that I’ve forgotten about you. However, should a circumstance like this arise (though I hope you don’t think it’s dire enough to be called such a name), many cities are also bigger on public transit than you may think. And no, this does not mean becoming buddy-buddy with Jim Bean, the homeless man notorious for the name for the compadre he brings with him. To learn more about alternate transportation, be sure to check out your city’s website on greener transportation.
You may have thought that the Mayans were a year and five months early in predicting the end of the world, but hey, you and I are still here.
Waterless Bikini Car Wash? Lucky You. Lucky Earth.
July 13, 2010 By
By now even you have probably seen the photos and videos from our waterless bikini car wash. If you were too busy gawking at the tight-bodied babes to notice how they were cleaning cars without water, I’m going to tell you.
Why?
Because I’m trying to make going green a little easier, you jackass. It’s obvious you’re not ready to take time away from your Guitar Hero solo for something that… I don’t know… COULD HELP SAVE THE PLANET! So I’m going to help you. (Don’t say I never did anything for you just because I won’t give you my number.)
So here it is. We used a product called Lucky Earth. It’s a natural, coconut-based cleaner that not only washes your car, but also adds a protective UV layer as well.
Why is it so important to save water even if you don’t live in a draught-plagued state?
Because purifying and processing water to make it fit for human use is expensive. Even if you think water is abundant in your area, it still costs the community (and you) a considerable sum to make it potable. You don’t know what that means? Look it up. I can’t do everything for you. Besides, if everyone continues to waste it, it won’t be abundant for long.
Washing your car with a hose uses 80 gallons of water, on average. (To put that in perspective, your keg holds 15.5 gallons of beer, by the way.)
Each bottle of Lucky Earth contains enough cleaner for 7-10 washes. That means each bottle saves roughly 560-800 gallons of water. That’s enough to fill at least one hot tub.
Water’s not the only issue here either. Using harsh cleansers to wash your car leads to all kinds of harmful chemicals flowing to storm drains and into the nearest body of water. Nobody wants that. Not even you.
You can read more about Lucky Earth here.
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