Angry Green Girl's Personal Blog

Hopefully by now I’ve convinced you to be conscious of your carbon footprint. You’ll notice I’m not telling you to stop showering or encouraging you to run around in a hemp sack either. I’m just trying to make you a little greener without turning you into an ascetic.

I’d never ask you to give up beer, for example. I’d just hope you would be open to decreasing your environmental impact while killing brain cells. There are a number of earth-friendly beers on the market, and by supporting companies with a commitment to the environment, your money is sending a strong message of support for their practices.

There are a couple of breweries like the Anderson Valley Brewing Company and the Sierra Nevada Brewing Company employing solar panels to power their plants. Sierra Nevada also has a carbon dioxide recovery system, as well as a heat recovery system -- and a whole host of other fancy, green practices too complicated to go into.

Another notable brewery taking earth-friendly action is the New Belgium Brewery in Fort Collins, Colorado. They make Fat Tire, and they do it by reusing steam to decrease the energy required for the process. They buy the remainder of necessary electricity from a nearby wind farm, and they are also developing a process to reuse their carbon dioxide emissions as well.

These beers may cost a little more than the swill you’re used to, but they taste a lot better, and they also make you look like you have a discerning palate. Chicks dig that sort of thing. Trust me.

Even if your sex life is purely theoretical at this point, you might as well prepare for the day you find a girl crazy enough to come home with you.

Here are some ideas for that hypothetical night far, far in the future.

Think about getting some organic cotton sheets for your bed. Organic cotton is sustainably grown without pesticides. Your new sheets will feel incredibly smooth to the touch. If you want a little variety, consider buying bamboo sheets. Bamboo is incredibly soft and silky -- perfect for rolling around. Plus bamboo is renewable and can be easily grown without pesticides.

Make sure you stock up on sustainable condoms, and consider getting some natural lube as well. Sylk offers a completely natural, water-based lubricant that is paraben and fragrance-free.

While you’re working on creating the perfect green mood, replace your bedroom bulbs with CFLs. Even if she doesn’t want to look at you while you’re doing the deed (and who could blame her, really?), at least you’ll be saving money on your utility bill whether the lights are on or off. 

Do you have a plastic bottle of Popov in your freezer? Yeah, I thought so. What about classing your place up a bit and replacing the drug store vodka with a little VeeV?

It’s a spirit made from acai berries, and $1 of every purchase is donated to a rainforest charity. The company is also certified carbon neutral and committed to sustainable, organic farming practices.

Now I’m not saying the stuff won’t give you a hangover if you pound a bunch of VeeV jell-o shots, but at least you’ll be doing a little good for the planet while you’re pickling your liver.

If the acai thing is throwing you and you need recipe ideas, take a look at this useful link. 

Let’s face it -- you’re probably the kind of guy who forgets his mom’s birthday. This year, show her you’ve changed. Send her an e-card.

If you want to show her you care about the planet almost as much as you care about buffalo wings and your bong, consider sending a TerraPass e-card. They’re only $2.95 and your purchase will offset 500 pounds of carbon dioxide emissions.

If you sent a regular card you’d spend around $4, and you’d have to remember to mail it far enough in advance that it would arrive on time. And we both know you’re not capable of planning that far ahead.

Check out the two card options here. 

OK, so maybe you’re not ready to start kitchen composting yet, and you think going green sounds like a complete drag -- but what if I told you I had a green sex tip?

Do I have your attention now?

I’m talking about sustainable condoms. Yeah, I said it. Sustainable. Condoms.

There are a few brands on the market that might increase your chances of closing with a socially-conscious babe, and I have the info for you.

A Brazilian manufacturer has introduced Natex, a brand made from seringai trees harvested under sustainable conditions in the Amazon Rainforest. Brazil is currently the largest importer of condoms, so by producing them at home, they are able to cut out the pollutants created by shipping. Brazil isn’t the only country concerned about keeping the planet cool while things are heating up in the bedroom (or wherever).

Germany also has its own brand called French Letters. They are made from latex harvested under sustainable conditions, and they are a Fair Trade product. You can order them here. 

And BTW, they do deliver to the United States. There’s even an option to make a donation to offset some of the carbon dioxide generated during shipping.

 See, not all green ideas suck.

I’m not one to settle when it comes to men. I’m too hot to go out with a guy who doesn’t do his part for the planet, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need to get off. I’d just rather do it on my own than lower my standards. That’s why I have an Earth Angel vibrator. 

The Earth Angel has a hand crank and its own power core. That means it will never require toxic replacement batteries. Consistent with the environmentally friendly concept, the Earth Angel only comes in white, and the packaging is completely recyclable.  

Who says going green can’t be a good time?

Whether I’m dining with my sexy, green girlfriends or I’m out with a date, I only eat at Certified Green Restaurants. 

Wondering what that means, my environmentally ignorant friends?

Green restaurants have met a number of strict criteria including, (but not limited to) composting organic food waste, eliminating bottled water, and installing water aerators on their faucets.

If you’re hoping to run into me enjoying a sumptuous dinner, find a certified restaurant in your area here. 

If your favorite eatery is not on the list, encourage the management to go green. It will save money. And the planet.